September 10 2025
Spouting my shit into the void
Because i am a fucin loser.
I dont know wtf im doing.
My house is a complete mess and dirty, i quit smoking weed for a week and now i smoke again, my sleep is shit, i got debt callers calling me and on my door.
Im doing nothing with my life.
Im watching charly sheen docu right now, 2 episodes, hes also a fuk up, but atleast he was a millionaire fuk up, its easier with money.
I did the laundry tho, i folded it, sold some stuff, shipped it, i smoked a joint, and got a shitload of anxiety, i need to change so much, its all so messed up.
I just putt 4 100gram beefburgers on the stove, atleast thats something.
But i dont know where to start cleaning up the mess, its so much, and it keeps pilling on.
Charlie sheen changed, allot, so why cant i. my addctions arent drugs or alcohol. Except fort he weed, but i get medical, no excuse, i should just quit, i know i dont nee dit really, in fact it gives me massive anxiety cause of overthinking about my messed up life.
My addictions are gaming, smoking, weed, and feeling sorry for myself.
Gamingm fortnite, brawl stars a mobile game, and if im really bored i can play online chess for hours, im 1200elo, so not that bad.
So how am i going to change all this shit…
I probally should just putt this piece online first and let it autoupdate while i write,
…
So apparently i lost the password fort his site, again. Fuk me.
Now i need to delete wordpress, and reinstall it again, there wasnt much on it, just basic lay out, and 1 blog but it was hidden and imay have wanted to post about it.
when i saw peacekeeper s2 episode 1, the ending really made me see things different i had a good week after that, but then i smoked some weed again used some benzos, and all is fuked up again.
So first ill do that then, reinstall wordpress.
Atleast i ate 4 hamburgers, thats something positve, 400gram of beef, 100gram of protein.
Brb
I learned something today, i can just login into cpanel, i have the details in my email haha.
Ok, so here we are, live typing my shit away , i installed brawl stars played a game, won, dunno why i do it, i should be doing other stuff.
i should be making money, cleaning up my debt, house, get my finances in order, instead i keep falling back.
so 5 things said jim rohn, write 5 things you want to complete now.
1: Dispose of the weed, and film and putt it on my adjacent yt channel
i just uninstalled brawl stars, maybe i should putt something on my phone so i cant reinstall it.
2: block brawl stars from being installed
3: putt 25 things online for sale
4: do the dishes
5: make the bed
so did some doomscrolling on x.
and i came acros a post about prfessor jiang, how evil triumps https://youtu.be/BtlWoqWLm9Q?si=n1YI-9jw0ISg6Tbg
that made me think, if i want to win, i should stop having opinions or any hate in me, since that is the social norm, choosing a side, is what makes u closed of from the potential of using evryone for your gain, instead of certain groups cause u have a distaste against them. I also see the stuff in ukraina or gaza, and i also have my opinions, i should discard those opinions, and see it as just a future oppurtunity, that i would otherwise have skipped cause i was close minded.
The thought alone gives some peace in my mind.
I think also the saying, the best revenge is massive succes, also resonates with that. Letting go of the past, focusing on the future, and by creating that future u have your revenge on the way upwards.
I think jim rohn said, hypothetical, i could drive over my neigbours lawn doing donuts in a brand new mercedes, and have it repaired the same day. or something dunno, i thought it was funny in my mind.